Timmy Two Times has hosted 242 Episodes.
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Episode 53: Climate Hysteria
September 26th, 2019 | 58 mins 16 secs
boat accident, canada, cigarettes, climate change, cocaine, collusion, e-cigarettes, estranged, greta thunberg, hysteria, impeachment, james south, kevin o'leary, mayo, reddit, shark tank, smoking, sopranos, submersible, trump, twitter, vapes
The crew discusses a boat crash, a shooting, cigarettes, cocaine, mayo, WWII veterans, brainwashed children, Trump Impeachment, and Antifa vs ICE
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Episode 52: The Court Of Public Opinion
September 22nd, 2019 | 1 hr 13 mins
3rd world countries, abortion, al sharpton, australia, bill gates, blind, boobs, booger, border wall, breakfast club, bringing jobs back, camel, censorship, church shooting, congressional hearing, cultural appropriation, diabetes dog, genders, golden retriever, guatemala, justin trudeau, mexican candance owens, monkey, neck brace, piers morgan, pigeon, poop jogger, ptsd, robert francis, service dog, tea party, toilet, toilet paper, trump, white nationalism
The crew discusses the poop jogger, airport puppies, camels, pigeons, 911 calls, Justin Trudeau's Black Face, 100 genders, Mexican Independence day and Candace Owens.
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Episode 50: From My Cold, Dead Hands
September 15th, 2019 | 1 hr 27 mins
1st amendment, 2nd amendment, 9th district, abrams tank, adhd, ammunition, anti-immigration, anti-trust, ar15, ban straws, biden, breakfast, brick, burglar, california, ccw, china, cockroach, confiscate, debate, democratic, dentures, electoral college, epidemic, eye surgery, fatherless, fda, google treading, guns, infringed, iran, judges, lasik, law abiding citizen, marathon, medical care, medical research, missing women, needles, nightmare, nuclear deal, open borders, penis, pensions, plastic surgeons, poop, racist, red states, regulations, robert francis, search party, single motherhood, sleeping driver, solar system, spayed, squatty potty, suing google, sunlight, tesla, tourist, trade war, trumponomics, turning states, turnpike, univsion, uranus, vaping
The crew discusses clever marketing, planets, poop attacks, search parties, a cooking burglar, a sleeping driver, Democrats, gun rights and Iran.
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Episode 49: Never Forget
September 13th, 2019 | 59 mins 41 secs
10 minute rule, 18 years, 18", 1941, 4 planes were highjacked, 911 call, a lot of people jumped, afghanistan, airport, america is a symbol of freedom to the world, america stands for something, american express, american flags, an american icon, angry, asbestos, batman, bin laden, black smoke, bodies hit the floor, bombing, bridges, bums don't organized, burn or drown, china asshole, church leaders, driving to work, drugstore, either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain, erasing history, evade the police, everyone came together, falling man, fire code, first responders, first video, forced labor, garbage truck, garcie mansion, hangar, howard stern, hudson river, i don't want to be misinformed, i need a female officer, leaves a bad taste in your mouth, national anthem, no one is working, off the ground, panhandle, pearl harbor, pennsylvania, pentagon, pharmacist, point of personal privilege, president trump please liberate hong kong, refrigerator, sexual favors, single mother, slavish mentally, snake on my nokia phone, some people did something, storing vehicles, suicide, support hong kong, taiwan, taliban, the check cashed, the mall shutdown, the vajayjay disappears, they are attacking us, they sent us home, this is an attack, trooper arrested, tunnels, wendy's, where were you, world trade center, you guys
The crew discusses fire safety, an inappropriate trooper, homeless workers, Hong Kong and a tribute to 9 11.
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Episode 48: Unfortunate Events
September 8th, 2019 | 1 hr 7 mins
$100 bills instead on $10 bills, 35f, 500 miles in arizona, a family with a child, a man's right to keep his check, abortion for population control, all of a slutn, ashley stclair, asked not to wear red hats, assault, atm, bernie sanders, big gulp cup, black dress, boobs are out, bucket, bucket of adios, buffet, charlie kirk, chase, chick-fil-a toronto, china is exposed, china needs us, churches want you to have kids, circus, coal belt, college hook-ups, daddy, dave chappell, de blasio, die-ins, disrespecting a cop, do you think that the gay agenda will recover from this, don't have sex until you are married, electric cars, end all coal jobs, fetal position, fit and young, florida, for sale, fracking, fry's, get a steel toed boot up your ass, girl thru-up in truck, half gallon of milk, he's a shifty little fuck, her son is here, hid it in the toilet, hong kong waving the american flag, hot vomit on my hand, hurricane path, i can make it back to the hotel room, i going to die tonight, i locked the door, i was cute so screw you asshole, i'm a gay tranny, i'm going to be sick, indonesia, is that you, it's the lords chicken, joe biden's eye, keep the uninformed mad, krusty the clown, las vegas, lion air, lost a game of darts, making sandwiches, meteorologist, mom dad do you see that, moneys green, most embarrassing moment, nailed it, next topic, only we can get the weather wrong, paper straws, peanut butter sandwiches, peta lgbt, plastic straws, point of personal privilege, pool, positive trade, rebel media, red meat, ronald mcdonald, sat in the bath and bawled, seat in lavatory, seatbelts, she drank the bucket, she filled that cup, she filled the second cup, shitting on my dick, starving, stated the wrong weather for alabama, super bad taste in women, sushi and sack, suv and truck, tax, the doors open, the left is not afraid that president trump will fail, then i got high, thong, threw that shoe at him, thru-up on dick, tiananmen square, trump derangement syndrome, vegan diet, we balanced the books, what is that, when i drink i get better at darts, where is half my tooth, whoville, xterra, yah that's it, you can't put that back inside me, you should be spayed, you should have just left her there
The crew discusses airline seating, ATMs, bad hookups, personal stories, NYC police, Chick-fil-a and the Democrat climate town hall.
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Episode 47: LGBTQ(S)
September 5th, 2019 | 1 hr 6 mins
10 commandments, 36 arrested, 4 o'clock, 4 year old, aaron burr, alyssa milano, america's favorite restaurant, an alligator ate my asshole, anti-religion, antifa had a permit, arnold schwarzenegger, ashley stclair, atheists, bahama is pretty much gone, because you believe something you are not allowed to do something, bi-polar, blacklist, blind boy, boston police department, boy who cried wolf, bread and milk, cat 2, cat 5, chick-fil-a, chick-fil-a drive thru, china, clint eastwood, clint eastwood's chair, coin toss, darwin we need you, dawyne johnson, direct message, dm, dorian, dr seuss book, everyone is happy at chick-fil-a, feelings, feliz navidad, florida, flying spaghetti monster, fries and chips, full prosecution, fussy eaters, hard work, having children, heat stroke, hit with the eye, humanists, james wood, jayhawk game, kansas university, kelsey grammer, kid stabbed in the face, lgbtq, lgbtqs, mac and cheese, manager classes, mccarthyism, mexican maid, millennials, mindy robinson, mini biscuits and chicken, morals in school, nontheists, noodles, not open on sundays, november 6 2020, octopus jelly god, one meal, patriotism, people of walmart, pizza, police miss conduct, police sirens, prayer, pringles, puck bunny, raising money to free antifa thugs, religion, safety and inclusion, sarah michelle geller, scientology, scorpions, scott baio, snakes, squad of rejects, squad of tards, squad of twats, straight pride parade, the lord's chicken, throw a bull dozer at your ass, tim allen, tom cruise, traditional marriage, trump fund raiser, trusty eaters, uncle jimmy, values, vince vaughn, vitamin deficiency, white bread, will and grace, wishful thinking
The crew talks about millennials, atheists, hurricanes, nutrition, chick-fil-a, blacklists, and a Straight Pride Parade
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Episode 46: Saulty U
September 1st, 2019 | 1 hr 1 min
13 eggs and cup of sperm, 75 mountain goats, a little hard work, after the storm the mayor declared that local park would require all of it's to repair the damage, all children are special, and we lost heidi, animal husbandry, ashley stclair, ban expulsion, barry goldwater, boys can go out and be boys, breast feeding in public, california, castration, castration fetish website, college homework assignment, continue to dumb down the public schools, danish pigs, dc draino, disruptive students, doctor eric, don't put your dick in crazy, don't touch my penis, don't want to hurt people's feelings, drive by guest, during the 9 11, emotions over anything, english class, exams attendance and grades, female teachers, fire department, gavin newsom, grew up religious, hatred of men, her vagina is like a tuna fish can, hey cut my balls off, hierarchal is bad, history is written by men, how did they get caught, i am paying you to teach me, i did not need that visual, i smell pig sperm, illegal pig semen, inclusive, it just want to see titties, it's kind of nuts, july 1st 2020, justin trudeau, kid playing the piano, lean on me, licking his dick, lowering the bar, lowering the standard so kids don’t feel left out, magnet schools, mansplaining, mantspreading, men have penis' women have vaginas, mountain goats addicted to human urine, natural salt licks, necessary competition, new york schools, no more logic to it, not teaching consequences, not the mama not the mama not the mama, phoenix airport, police force, problem child, replace the sexist language, rubber bands, see where you at, segregation, shampoo bottles, shithead parent makes a shithead kids, skinny white kid, snap fingers to clap, sociology, some minorities, somebody did somebody, something wrong with the school system, stay home and raise the children, that sentence is sexist, that’s a bad example, that’s cutting my balls off, the reason we have hell is because some women had her period and got upset, the sweet semen of baby jesus, they don’t like italians, this bitch isn't going to do shit for you, trump white voter, unfit to be president, we just need to stop disciplining students, we lost tim, why does it need to be manpower, women have not been in the work place, yodeling pig, you can't show your excellence
The crew discusses castration, pig semen, mountain goats, insemination,
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Episode 45: Trump 45 and 2 Zig Zags
August 29th, 2019 | 59 mins 34 secs
3 stooges, a onetime bad congressmen, african immigrants, america first, antifa, archived tweets, asshole love, assless chaps, border wall, boston, brett kavanaugh, britain, british accent, catalina lauf, china grabbing leaders, cnm fake news, couldn't stand up straight, dave chappelle, david harris, drag show, failed in radio, fake news, g7, germany, guatemala, headline stress disorder, hot conservatives, hypocrisy, i should be able to take them, i've said racists thing but who hasn't, in the middle, intimate moment, it's more inclusive, japan, joe walsh, kremin, lgbtqs, look at this fredo, maga hats, melania trump, mexico's southern border, milo, milo yiannopoulos, mr. appalachian trail, mtv, potpourri of diversity, puppet master, racist tweets, rick rolled, russian jokes, s is for straight, safe places, safe spaces, slapping trump, sour face, steven crowder, straight pride parade, stuart varney, telemundo, the left can't meme, tim is running for congress, tommy robinson, took saul to a gay bar, trump 45, trump 45 and two zig zags, trump episode, tweet archives, twitter, we found some police, when donald trump forgets to wear clothes
The crew celebrates their 45th episode with a tribute to the 45th president.
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Episode 44: Trump, Dolphins, Bananas and Coke
August 25th, 2019 | 48 mins 33 secs
$1 million of cocaine, 100 times in the drive thru, 22 kilos, 23 kilos, 38 revolver, 8 foot long snake, aggressively rubbing, apple built in china, armadillo, banana boxes, batteries, battery charger, bean bags, bring our company’s home, can’t make a video of mohamed, cattle fence, chick-fil-a, china, china is ass hole, chinese are shooting hong konger, closed beached, cramping, creepy joe, dnc fund raising just took a hit, dollar shave club, dolphin in heat, doorbell cam, dow down 700, electrical class, electrocution, family guy, first experience with love, germany, get rid of the us postal service, get woke go broke, gillette, global economy at what cost, groin attack, guns, handle of the stove, happy to see you, have sex for pleasure, heart stopped, hilter took away everyones, hong kong, hong kong police, i don’t know what we are yelling about, i don’t think the stove should be electricuing us, in-and-out, i‘m bart simpson who the hell are you, jaw wired shut, left one women with his nose, make america great again, new segments, nike, not today satan, one year before the simpsons is cancelled, point of personal privilege, poisonous fish, poorly choosen, potassium and coke, ricochet, roasting on an open fire, safeway, second amendments, sex with an atm and a picnic table, sexual frustrated dolphin, shit on your point, shocking, shot 3 times, shot in the face, simpsons, somebody did something, south park, stock market, take a bumper, the left can’t meme, the perfect shaped nose, tim’s terrible tweets, too many times in the drive thru, transformers, trump is hitler, trump orders, trump trade war, umbrella, vaginal flatulence, video doorbells, what does a female dolphin say when she doesn’t want to have sex, what is the weirdest get rithing you put your dick into, widow makers, with all due respect what would you do if god called you a cnt, zafar
The crew talks about an armored armadillo, a snake, a horny dolphin, electronics class, cocaine and trump’s “Orders”.
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Episode 43: Fight the Good Fight
August 22nd, 2019 | 1 hr 4 mins
$144000 fine, $600 rent, 18 micro apartments, 1984, 2 condos, 4 ½' ceilings, 70 square feet, 850 year old building, 9 apartments one bathroom, a battle of ideas, america is awaking up, anti-science, antifa, bait stations, charlie kurt, chinese, communism, concrete slabs, crocodile tears, customs and border protection, dearborn michigan, destroying the rule of law, domestic terrorism, europe is committing suicide, fascism, foul play, google cloud platform, google employees, google needs to be broken up, hey google are you a monopoly, i sleep well at night, india independence, islam is not a race, islamic extremist burning churches, kill cops, lead in to the air, lgbtq, lower east side, lung issues, mayor of portland, new york, non-violent civil war, notre dame, pakistan, pest control stations, prager university, protest, proud boys, rallies, rashida tlaib, reign in the dark fringes of the male, religion of war, rent control, rent stabilization, scrubbing the streets, shitting in the streets, slaughtering a cow on an indian flag, squad of rejects, subletting, sued up the ass, taser, the pendulum has swung, throwing rocks, trump is savage, trump meme, vaping, where is peta, where were the police, wishing is not how science works, woke as fuck movement
The crew talks about mini apartments, lead, vaping, Antifa, the Middle East and Google.
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Episode 42: Devil in the blue dress
August 18th, 2019 | 1 hr 6 mins
a little bush, aggressive moppping, aoc, armpit hair, armpit merkin, auschwitz, bbc, bds, bernie sanders, bill clinton, bill maher, bj hardick, bleached assholes, blow job, blue dress, bullies, china, china is singer the us national anthem, creepy joe binden, defamation, delaware, destiny hooker, dick brains, diplomatic trip, don’t believe the media, doorbell cam, drone is going to die, empty seat maga tour, european wax, extreme left, extreme right, facts are facts, farmers are losing, first date, florida crazy news, future leaders of america, get out of my mom's basement, glamor shots, go to jail for bulling, groupies let you grab them by the pussy, guess the state, he would be the first lady, hillary's dress, hold my beer, house of cards, how many legs a dog has, ice facilities, ilham omar, israel, jeffery epstein, jesus condom, libel, maxine waters, michelle boner, monica's dress, move the embassy, netanyahu, new hampshire rally, no shave, palestine, poor people are just as bright as white people, portrait, private island, project veritas, rashida tlaib, russian, she went to a road and cried, shotgun, silent majority, slander, squad of rejects, steakhouse, suicide, this ain't a fad, thomas sowell, threw semen on walmart shopping, trade war, transvestite, trump, trump is america first, truth over facts, twerk, twinter, twisted and perverted, twitter, vegans, visit grandma, watching the election, we need to enforce our laws, we've got bush, what page was that on
The crew talks about doorbell cams, unfortunate names, body hair, portraits and Israel.
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Episode 41: The name is Fredo, Al Fredo
August 14th, 2019 | 1 hr 11 mins
$100000 car, $12000 car, $15 an hour, 4 hour to fully charge a telsa, 50 years, act of terrorism, advertisement on tv, airport, anti-extradition laws, basic law, beijing, bmw, boston dynamitics, both side agree that it is foul play, camera disabled, cesar chavez, chris cuomo, citizens, clintons, cnn anchor, colony of great britain, conspiracy theory, denied citizenship, dictator, displays bad character, doj, donald trump jr, drunk drivers, electric cars, elsewhere polluting vehicles, ethnic slur, flat screen tvs, fredo, gas is cheap, gcc students, gets the leaches out of their country, godfather, government motors, green cards, gruber motors, he should not be allowed to own weapons, hong kong protest, ice raids, impaired drivers, infrastructure, jeep, job fair, joe biden, koch foods, landscaper, largest exporter of oil, les mis, lots of fun but you don't get anywhere, masturbatorial car choice, mercedes, military marriages, mississippi, nissan, no guards, no one will take that job at that pay, nuclear is the cleanest, obama deported more than trump, permanent resident not effected, poor kids are just as bright as white kids, poultry, pull out and cum on the tits, red flag laws, remittance, roadster, robot abuse, severally handicapped, shenzhen airport, simplicity, snowbirds, switzerland, tax incentives to buy electric cars, tesla vehicle, that's because they are french, the new n-word, the whole thing is cgi., they closed tent city, they're so poor their so black, transferred the cellmate, truth is not a left wing value, union, we choose truth over facts, we have a fighter in the white house, we need the second amendment, well fair, wolf blitzer, wrong way drivers, you can't afford to live here
The crew talks about wrong way drivers, ice raids, electric cars, citizenship, Hong Kong and Fredo.
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Episode 40: Marvel's Phase 4 Fizzle
August 11th, 2019 | 48 mins 12 secs
a good doctor doom, all of a slut'n, always sunny in philadelphia, birds as pet, black widow, blade, brooklyn, captian marvel 2, cat gymnasium, dare devil, dark knight, deadpool, disney, disney plus, dodo bird, dominatrix class, dr. strange, espn, eternals, fantastic four, far from home, fox, freddy krueger, giant cannibal parrot, grab hair, green arrow, guardians of the galaxy, hawkeye, hulu, humbre mono, i have a bird is a deal breaker, incredible hulk, incredibles, into feet, ironman, jason momoa not doing aquaman 2, lick my feet, logan, loki, man of steel, mary kate and ashley olsen, mister whiskers does not approve, netflix won the game of thrones, not a fan of birds, not into braids, penis is turning into bone, princess leia, robert downey jr, robot dick, rocket racoon, rogue one, scarlett johansson, shange chi legends of the ten rings, smells like hamsters, solo, sony, spider-man into the spider-verse, spiderman, star wars, std trauma, stephen king movie about cats, superman, swamp thing, t-rex is a little bird, the clown of birds, the falcon and the winter soldier, thor, too many animals, wanda hotter then scarlett johansson, wandavision, welcome back, wet t-shirt contest, what if, wolverine, xmen
On this episode: cannibal parrots, a new “bone” grows inside 63yr old Bronx man, a touch of dominatrix and Marvel Universe Phase 4.
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Episode 39: Point of Personal Privilege
August 8th, 2019 | 1 hr 8 mins
19th birthday, 30 seconds, 8 chan, aggressive scent, ambulance hits pothole, back to the future, baseball hits bird, beto o'rourke, bird hits girl on roller coaster, bird hits wind shield, bird hits window, both parents murdered at restaurant, butt dialing, buy a tank, buy back the guns, car accidents, car thief, changed the headlines, clapping, comrade, control the media control the minds, criticize police, daycare, dayton, democratic socialists, depend against a tyrannical government, don't talk to cops, eat each other out, el paso, feathers, flu, fort hood, gender pronouns, get off my lawn, go fund me to kill, gun, gun control, gun violence, hand gun homicide, having sex with his dog, he/him, hillary clinton, hot tub time machine, how many more rapes have to occur before you cut off your dick, i've got monsters, internal google memos, it's mama, keeping a close eye on them, kentucky deluxe whiskey, kids are not disciplined at home, killed his sister, liberal city, lightning strikes septic tank, list of massacres, madonna, manifesto, maxine waters, medical errors, moral foundation, neil degrasse tyson, new york time, news headline from each state, no rights no guns no protection, not a trump supporter, nuclear bomb in the back, off duty military, point of personal privilege, pot holes, preferred pronoun, race track, randy johnson, rattle snake, reichstag fire, robert de niro, sandy hook, second amendment, shot a congressman at a softball game, still accountable, suicide, they are shit hole nations, they sell guns at walmart, toilet explodes, tom hanks, trump owes el paso for shooting, truth is not a left wing value, twitter disabled his account after shooting, twitter removing hits, unity over racism, uranium, uranium ore on amazon, video games, walmart
The crew's laughter and tears in this episode covers; Florida's exploding toilet, Oklahoma's car theft, Queensland roller-coaster ride, a Nebraska pothole moment, Alabama's carnival man, democratic-socialism meetings, gun-control and the 1st & 2nd Amendments.
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Episode 38: Capitalist Cavemen
August 4th, 2019 | 1 hr 13 mins
#walkaway movement, $500 a week down to $200 a week, 16 to 18 cm, 20 or 50, 9 year old artist, 9.0, a$ap rocky, ankle surgery, asians wearing maga hats, australia, belly flop, blue wave, brandon straka, burkini, camelback and indian school, capitalist countries with socialist programs, cavemen jeremy, cavemen saul, cavemen tim, chelsea handler, cocaine under toupee, coins, congress person, congress womaintenance, cry for attention, dark web, europe has been invaded, fake injuries, fake news, free school, gaza strip, gdpr, ghettobirds, give up your guns, golan heights, government assisted health care, greece, greece had more employees than offices for them, hamas, he broke it, he has a sock around it, he was wearing a hat, head smashed into the wall, i want you dead, i will be your friend shirt, i-17, increase the retirement wage, israel palestine conflict, italy, joe biden can't fill a hot tub, jumper, jussie smollett, largest penis, lip stick on a socialist pig, maga hat in new york, magatron events at a$aps next event, maryvale, masturbating, necklace, no coal, no history of palestine, no one will buy a shitty product, no option but to riot, not a drone strike, oac, off brand charger, on top of the sign, oversized toupee, people from sweden, phone charger, privacy, red wave, refugees, rescue europe again, rob a bank, ronald reagan started make america great again, rub him right, same old shit, save face, socialism does not allow for people to be better, some people did something, sports illustrated, thanks sweden courts, united kingdom, vibrator, west bank, white supremacist jews, workfare instead of welfare, world record, you lack the understanding of how the economy works, your dog is peeing on my lawn
Prepare for laughs and discussion of a Mexican penis, Cocaine smuggler, a couple PSA moments, freeway jumpers, AOC, Capitalism vs Socialism and the Cavemen
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Episode 37: The Infestation Proclamation
August 1st, 2019 | 1 hr 39 secs
$15 billion, 3 weeks without seeing a judge, a$ap rocky, al sharpton, ambulance chaser, angry latina girl, are you tired of winning, arkansas, austin, baltimore, baltimore sun, ben shapiro, bill clinton, chicago rat problem, cnn reporter, colorado, cracked tail light, curling, defending rats, dennys, donkey punch, dr drew, elijah cummings, fart, female black marine general, fifa, finland, flags, fox news, good fellas, guatemla, hillary clinton, i am gay and conservative, identity the problem, if you know how to use a broom, ihop, infested, kanye west, king face, liberty police, maxine waters, missouri, montaga, nancy pelosi, new olympic event, not assimilating, not florida, obama, over reaching, plea deal, public health crisis, puto, racist, reagan bush 84 hat, red sports drink, refugees, san antonio, santisis, scream out fagette, shitting in the ocean, skid row, soft bigotry of low expectations, sweden, swimming in shit, switzerland, teamster, they want to blame trump, to use it wisely, trump is getting shit done, turning point usa, typhus, viva la mexico, waka flocka, well played satan, wife carrying championship
The crew talks about automotive uses for sports drinks, farting criminals, wife carrying and rat infestations.